It all started Tuesday, when I got an email from theKnot.com telling me that there were 13 months until my wedding day. At that very second it hit me like a ton of bricks: my summer is coming to an end and it seems like I haven’t taken care of anything for my wedding. School starts this week. I will be starting graduate classes that will consume my weekends and evenings.  When will I get everything done?

"The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner "

As if the feeling of overwhelming dread that I was already feeling wasn’t enough, I decided to turn to, “The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner,” to see how far behind their checklist tells me I am.

If you’re in the process of planning a wedding you know all about checklists. Every book that I get has at least one checklist with a monthly countdown of things that need to be done. This particular book that I’m referencing has 19 chapters of, “worksheets, checklists, etiquette, calendars, and answers to frequently asked questions.” I kid you not, there are 199 pages. So, for those of you just beginning the wedding process who have not yet started a checklist, I thought I would take you through one with me.

This particular checklist is entitled: 12+ Months Before Your Wedding. Here we go…(For the record, I’m paraphrasing.)

√ Tell people about your engagement. – We have been doing this for the last four months. I think we’ve gotten to nearly everyone.

√ Envision Your Wedding (We are going to do this together right now using the worksheet provided by theKnot.)

Describe your event: Formal, Elegant, Festive

Locale: Where we live

Size: Average (100 – 250)  - We had hoped for a small wedding but we both come from very large families. We anticipate about 225 guests.

Season: Fall/Winter Date: September 24, 2011

Hour: Evening

Palette: Black, White, & Green

The mention of a Bridal Shower made me want to include this picture. If my bridesmaids are reading this *hint hint* this is what I want my shower to be like!

Festivities: Engagement Party, Bachelorette Party, Bridal Shower, Bachelor Party, Rehearsal Dinner, (maybe) Post-Reception

PartyPriorities (Rank 1 – 10) – This one was hard.

9-Time of Year

1-Officiant/Ceremony Location

4-Guest List

6-Food & Drink

3-Music

7-Reception Location

8-Attire (Bride’s Dress)

5-Ambiance (Flowers/Décor)

2- Mementos (Photo & Video)

10-Other

Opinions that Count: Bride & Groom, Bride’s Parents, Friends & Attendants, Groom’s Parents *Not necessarily in that order

Planning Committee: Bride & Groom, Bride’s Parents, Groom’s Parents, Siblings, Friends & Attendants

_ Wedding Budget – Another worksheet. This is tricky because my parents are paying for the majority of the wedding and they haven’t given us a definite number…I’m sure they’ll be more to come about this.

√ Date

√ Initial Guest List – They also have a checklist for this task.

√ Ceremony & Reception Site Research

_  Book specific vendors (ie. Photographer, DJ, etc.)

_  Wedding Party – We wanted to make sure that we were able to ask people in special ways – work in progress.

√ Book Ceremony & Reception Sites

_ Choose and book officiant – I’m hoping to have my childhood pastor perform the ceremony but there are some issues with the church so we’re working on this one as well.

_ Announce Engagement – Paper/Wedding Website – Again, I’m working on this one. We don’t want to post in the paper until we choose a photographer and get some engagement photos.

√ Engagement Party

Aforementioned Checklist

Well, I feel like I just did homework, but I also feel relieved, I’m not that far behind! (At least according to this list.) Soon I’ll be looking at the 8 – 10 months before checklist. Scary! This wedding will happen on September 24, 2011 whether we get everything on these checklists done or not (mostly because we already paid deposits.)

This is a really useful section from a Martha Stewart planning tool. They have flowers listed by color, time of year they're available, cost, etc. Just an example of how the magazines can be very useful.

The best advice that I can give with my limited experience thus far is to choose one magazine source (the Knot, Martha Stewart, Real Simple Weddings, etc.) that you feel best reflects the ambiance that you want at your wedding, and use the checklists available through that source. I’ve done the legwork and they’re all so similar that you won’t miss out on anything by using just one, but you will avoid frustration.

In ending this week I’d like to start a new weekly thought that I’m going to entitle, “Irrational Fear of the Week.” This week’s irrational fear is:

If you’ve been following along you know that a family friend of Colin’s was engaged on the same day as us and then chose the same initial wedding date as we did. I found out this week that we have been wedding dress shopping at the same places, so my new fear is that we’re going to end up wearing the same wedding dress…maybe after all of these coincidences this isn’t so irrational…

More adventures to come next week.

Yours,

The Bride

Mona and Tom crafted their wedding to include the traditions and rituals that were most meaningful to them. Held at the school where they live and work, their wedding was a perfect reflection of who they are and their commitment to each other. It was exactly what a wedding should be.

Mona & Tom | June 26, 2010 | Darrow School New Lebanon, New York

How SHE proposed
I proposed to him in front of the whole school community where we live and work, during Friday lunch announcements. Tom and I had already decided to get married and found the perfect rings, but I wanted to let the small community know in a way that surprised Tom and let everyone know (instead of having them find out through rumors). I shared the story of having met Tom (after surrendering the matchmaking to God), and then had the students help me ask the question by rushing in, in a row, holding the painted letters on paper. I held the ME, just to keep it clear, and gave him his diamond eternity ring.
The ceremony
The ceremony was very unique and meaningful, as we had already been legally married (in Maui on Thanksgiving eve)

and could focus on the spiritual, familial, and social aspects of our union. I researched and created a family tree project showing our lineages coming together,

and we made a chuppah (Jewish structure representing the home) out of branches and ivory chiffon.

We hired a female officiant who weaved our ceremony together beautifully. It included a Shinto sake ceremony, where we drank out of three cups of ascending size,

readings of beautiful excepts read by my two sisters and Tom’s two brothers, prayers for our deceased relatives and for equality in marriage rights, our own vows, and a Celtic hand-fasting ritual. At the end, our family and friends were asked to make two concentric circles around us and offer their blessings and hopes for us as a couple, Quaker-style.

The reception
The reception included dinner in a hexagon tent nearby, decorated in our theme colors of chocolate brown, grass green, and ivory, and a trip to a small
family-run bowling alley for cosmic bowling (Tom is a competitive bowler). We had organic, local food served family-style (mixed greens and strawberries salad with a maple balsamic vinagrette, cedar-grilled salmon with a blueberry-mango salsa, filet mignon with garlic herbed butter, grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes. For dessert, we had a chocolate fountain with various dipping choices and flourless chocolate cake. I showed a PowerPoint of the two of us growing up in pictures, and invited everyone to join us for bowling, with the option of riding a school bus (driven by our colleague and friend) to the bowling alley. Everyone had a blast bowling to a CD mixed by a friend of mine, disco lights, and old-school scoring sheets (pencil and paper).

Splurges and Savings
We saved a lot on most things, using the campus where we live and work and met as the venue (my family stayed in the dorm where we have an apartment), making the invitations and centerpieces and chuppah myself, leaving the tent before dark (saving on lighting, dance floor, DJ, etc), using the school bus as transportation, using the school caterer for the food and borrowing their tables and other items, and having a chocolate fountain rather than a wedding cake.

I splurged on my wedding dress (gift from my mom, otherwise I would have spent $300 max), my appointments for the day (manicure, pedicure, hair and makeup), the tent and decor, and mineral baths for our family the day before at Saratoga Springs.

How she knew her wedding dress was “THE ONE”
I poured through tons of wedding magazines and websites, visited several wedding dress stores, including a rental service in Los Angeles, and probably tried on more than thirty dresses before finding the perfect one. Since I wanted the wedding to be “green/sustainable”, I went to a store in Saratoga Springs that sold eco-friendly dresses. I came away with pictures of five dresses that I liked, and emailed them to my family for review (since they live half the world away.) Their selections confirmed my choice, and I went with the one that spoke to me as a person and flattered my figure (even though it wasn’t made of fair-trade cotton).

Her advice for other brides
My advice for other brides is to choose only the elements and traditions that speak to you, and make decisions based on what feels right to you. It is a wonderful opportunity to express who you are as a person and a couple, and what marriage/love means to you, and you can toss out outdated, sexist, or expensive traditions while designing a ceremony and event that comes from your heart and soul.

The moments Mona will never forget
There are so many moments that were memorable from our day, from the drizzle that threatened to move the ceremony inside but stopped just in time, to drinking sake from the biggest cup which represents having children and seeing Tom grin wide, to my father and mother speaking up at the family circle at the end of the ceremony, to enjoying a wonderful dinner and seeing all our closest friends and family in the same place under the tent around us, to the amazing sunset we saw before heading off to bowl, to finding out that there was a full moon and lunar eclipse on the day we had scheduled months before for practical reasons, to Tom and me bowling side-by-side and getting the same score on the first round of bowling (91, good for me and uncharacteristically low for him), to dancing with him while bowling in my dress and him in his suit.

Mona’s Wedding Dress: Rosa Clara 109
Photography: Jane Feldman

As a long, crazy, and hectic summer winds to a close, I’ve got a new mantra around our house: Keep It Simple! So, this week I’m inspired to share with you some simple, but adorable, DIY favor/gift bag ideas. I always love DIY wedding projects because they let you put your own creative stamp (no pun intended) on your special day. And with these DIY brown bag projects, you can keep the cost down as well. How will you fill your favor bags? Well, that’s up to you, but yummy homemade baked goods or other edible treats sound good to me!

photo credit: betsywhite.com

Don’t you just love the way the bright red paper labels “pop” against the brown background? This favor bag idea (courtesy of the wedding stationary experts at BetsyWhite.com) would fit in perfectly at a simple backyard bbq or beach wedding. Click here for easy instructions and template.

photo credit: weddingchicks.com

Here’s another fabulous idea from the creative minds of The Wedding Chicks.  These sweet little DIY gift bags strike just the right note – proving that when it comes to weddings – you don’t have to pay a fortune to be stylish and chic. Simply download the template, print onto scalloped paper and attach to brown paper bags using a hole punch and pretty ribbon. Click here for complete instructions.

photo credit: younghouselove.com

I always save the best for last. And, although I love all today’s DIY tips, I think this one’s my favorite. It’s stylish, with a sense of humor. These mini brown bags are filled with single gladiolis bulbs. The front photostrip picture (of the bride and groom – he’s covered in lipstick kisses!) invites guests to “Plant One on Us!”   Instructions for planting the bulb can be found on the back.  You can find all the details for this project on  Younghouselove. This awesome blog features one Richmond, Virginia, couple and their trials and tribulations as newlyweds and new homeowners. They planned an amazing DIY wedding in the backyard of their adorable new home, which is still the inspiration for their DIY blog. If your planning a backyard wedding and/or diving into some DIY projects at home, you’ve got to check them out – they’re so great.

So get your creative juices flowing and your wedding favors will be “in the bag!”

This wedding is such a perfect reflection of the bride and groom.  Everything from the significance of the church to each of them, to the charmingly executed library theme, to the fun choreography of the first dance. And I love how the bride coordinated it all herself – and found a hidden talent she didn’t know – but very obviously -  has.

Hilary & John | May 15, 2010 | Cambridge, Massachusetts

How he proposed
John and I were the same class in college, but we never met! We met the year after our graduation when we both studied in Cambridge, England at the University of Cambridge. This was the fall of 2002… We were friends for a long time, and then we weren’t. We started dating in January 2008 and we were engaged March 2, 2009 in Napa Valley. We had both just gotten job offers together back in Boston, and we went away for the weekend to celebrate. The last night, when we got in the car for dinner, he said he left his wallet upstairs. After waiting in the car for some time, he finally called me to say he needed help looking. I was suspicious, but went… As I approached our room I saw rose petals outside the door. He has transformed our room in that time– covered in candles and two dozen roses and lots of rose petals.  He proposed with his grandmother’s ring, which he had flown to Louisville, KY to get a few weeks before (unbeknownst to me!).
The ceremony & reception
We threw a party that truly reflected our personalities and style.  John and I are bookworms—but we also can have a lot of fun.  We both graduated from Harvard, and we both work there now, so we married in The Memorial Church in Harvard Yard, where a college classmate officiated.  Many special people in our lives contributed to our ceremony.  We had three reading, each reflected our pasts and our future.  John’s aunt and uncle read the Sheva Brachot in Hebrew and English respectively to signify our Jewish backgrounds.  One of my high school history teachers did a reading from Corinthians, as I was raised Catholic.  Finally, my dissertation advisor read selections from economist Gary Becker’s seminal articles on an economic theory and model of marriage; John is an economist, and I’m a sociologist, so this symbolized the two disciplines coming together in our household. I’m not sure anyone has ever had a reading like that at their wedding before, but it definitely reflected us.

We also were honored to have one of my high school friends, and her fiancé, sing at our wedding—both are professional opera singers.

When guests arrived at The Charles Hotel they were greeted with another “very us” item. Instead of a traditional escort card table, we used a library card catalog.  Each guest had a card that mimicked the old Dewey Decimal system cards; on the back of each guest’s card we wrote personal notes.

[For our Save the Dates I had a graphic designer use childhood photos to create an image that looked like the old Little Golden Book covers.  On the inside of the Save the Dates it looked like a library book (on the left side is a bookplate with our names and on the right side is a library card pocket).  Inside the card pocket in an old-style check-out slip with our wedding date stamped on, along with other significant dates in our relationship.] Continuing the library theme, our favors were bookmarks, using the same image as our Save the Date book cover.

Inside the ballroom I had the hotel use conference tables, and place them on a diagonal, to give the sense of a library, but create a more intimate setting.

Our table numbers were also books, and each numbered “Volume” had two pictures—one of me and one of John on each side at the same age as the volume number.  Inside the ballroom, we used a palate of periwinkle, lavender, and plum for our flowers, linens, and lighting.  Each guest had a personalized menu card at his or her place, which had been hand calligraphied.

At the end of the cocktail hour I changed into a shorter dress, because I LOVE to dance.  We started the night off with our first dance, which was choreagraphed to “It Had to Be You.”

We had an amazing night filled with amazing food and dancing (like the Hora, but also heavy on the Lady GaGa and Madonna), and we felt completely surrounded by friendship and love!  I did not have a wedding planner or coordinator and discovered a creative side that I hope to make use of in the future!

The moments Hilary will never forget
Dancing with the girls to Like a Prayer (classic!) and Closer to Fine (Indigo Girls), which was a total moment with my girlfriends.

Favorite moment though was our last song, which was These Are Days by 10,000 Maniacs. Everyone who was still there (it was about 12:30 am), made a big circle on the dance floor and by the end, John and I were in the middle of the circle completely surrounded by love!

Splurges & Savings
Saved by not having a videographer! We also used a DJ, who was AMAZING. I splurged on my dress and on our photographer, who we flew in (but who was more than worth it!).

Why she decided to sell her wedding dress
When my husband and I committed to buying it, he made me promise I would so it wouldn’t be “wasted money sitting in a closet.” I was initially reluctant, but after two months, I realized I would never wear it again and I have many, many pictures in it, so I should help make someone else happy!

Her advice for other brides
Just think of the wedding as a big party!

Get fun shoes.

Figure out what you really care about and don’t worry about the rest.

Make it personal.

My philosophy with vendors and everything was to see up to three and then make a decision (and I often did after one). In the end, it’s just one day, so don’t stress too much!

Invest in an amazing photographer.

Surround yourself with the people who really love you. I’ve decided weddings bring out the true nature of relationships, so remember who is there for you, for always!

Hilary’s Wedding Dress: Priscilla of Boston 4509

Photography: Michael O’Bryon