LAE*
July 30th, 2010
Getting engaged is one of the highlights of your life!
I’m not going to lie, if you multiplied every Christmas that you’ve had for your entire life by 10, getting engaged would still be better. It’s a new adventure in your life. After he asks you to marry him, you’re going to feel like the world should stop and allow you to plan your wedding without interruption. I mean c’mon, you’ve dreamt of this day since you were what, five? The invitations, the vows, the flowers, the DRESS!
Sorry, this is not going to happen. Monday through Friday still require work. You still have to pay your bills on time and get your car serviced every 3,000 miles. People are still going to have the nerve to ask you to babysit their children or chaperone school events. Life.Goes.On.
Better yet, people will have the nerve to ask you some pretty inappropriate questions. The person who you wouldn’t even think to invite to your wedding, the friend of a friend of a cousin that you barely know, will ask you if they are invited. Friends will assume they’re in your wedding party without being asked. There will be that person that asks you how many carats your diamond is, or better yet, how much it cost. I have even had two, yes two, people ask me what my wedding budget is and if my father is paying for it. One of them told me that at my age (which is 29) it’s not really appropriate to expect my parents to help pay for my wedding. Don’t worry though, you will be surprised at your ability, possibly from the state of euphoria that you are still living in, to smile and sweetly tell them that these things are none of their business in a most polite and cordial manner.
But the one questions that you can expect everyone to ask when they find out that you are engaged is, “When’s the date?” We must have heard this questions fifty times. Honestly, I called people ten minutes after the proposal to tell them the news, and they asked this!
So after making some decisions and coordinating dates between venues, transportation and ceremony sites, we were finally able to tell everyone that the date would be October 1, 2011. What a relief. I could begin our wedding website, start contacting DJs and photographers, how exciting! I should’ve known that it was too simple…
Colin came home the night that we told our parents with his tail between his legs. He had received a call from his mother, a family friend, Jennifer,** had put a deposit down on October 1st two weeks ago.
After the initial irate-ness settled down, I began questioning etiquette. Now this is a family friend who Colin is not close with. He won’t be upset if she doesn’t come to our wedding, as a matter of fact I’m not even sure that she was on our preliminary guest list, so do we have to change it? Of course we do. If we don’t change the date then all of their mutual friends are going to have to choose which wedding they should attend. She had her date two weeks before us, so it is only fair. Ugh! So, being the fantastic fiancée that I am, I made phone calls and changed our wedding date.
I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t happy about it, and it was a pain, and I complained about it, A LOT, but it made life easier for everybody. We chose our new date and crossed our fingers that it would all work out this time. I made the phone calls to change the church, the venue, and transportation. We updated everyone on the change. Then, while I was attempting to change our wedding webpage I just happened to log on to Facebook.com…right there on the main page was Jennifer’s** latest status update. She was letting the world know that she had JUST (as in that day) put her deposit down for her reception hall…a week after she had told us that she put it down two weeks ago. Seriously?!?
Needless to say, we will be hoping for rain on Jennifer’s** wedding date. We will also be giving her a card that says, “Our gift to you was your wedding date.” But, after all is said and done I’m happy with our date, and here is what we know so far about our wedding:
Date: September 24, 2011
Ceremony: St. John’s Lutheran Church (My home Church)
Reception: Our Local Country Club
What lesson can you learn from this experience? Never trust a bride.
Now the real planning begins (including my first dress shopping today)!
Yours,
The Bride
Colin's attempt to win forgiveness after breaking the news about our wedding date...
*Life After Engagement
**Identity changed for privacy
You would think having them ask about your engagement ring is annoying…try getting asked why you have a sapphire engagement ring and WHEN you’ll be getting a diamond one. Followed by, “what do you mean you’re not?”
Or have everyone in your family tell you to break up with your fiance to “date other people” because you’ve only been in one serious relationship…including your MOM!
Btw, Nikki, I love reading this blog!
~Megan~
Wow, I really needed to know I wasn’t in this crazy ship alone. I can’t even begin to start with the comments people have made about my wedding and how I somehow manage to grit my teeth and bare it. Here’s one…at a family bridal shower my notoriously late cousin (38yr old) exclaims in joy that her birthday is on the same day as my wedding. “WOW, it’s gonna be a party; it’s my birthday!,” she exclaims. This is the same cousin who trampled over my sister’s dress two years ago to get to her seat 30 seconds before sis walked down the aisle. Show-stealer…I’m informing my wedding directors to let no one be seated who arrives after ceremony begins. Oh, this is one of many.
I will definitely check your blog out. Sounds like you will keep me entertained through this process!
I’m shocked that people felt the need to ask about budgets and who is paying for the wedding!!! That’s insane! I do understand some of the questions though. Hate to tell you but some of them never go away. We are coming up on our 16 year anniversary and I still get the “Where’s your engagement ring” question… I love wearing my 10 year anniversary ring (emeralds and accent diamonds) in place of a traditional diamond. Nothing wrong with that! Hang in there! You’ll get through it. Besides, I think you picked a better date now.
It makes September an even better month for the two of you.
“Needless to say, we will be hoping for rain on Jennifer’s** wedding date. We will also be giving her a card that says, “Our gift to you was your wedding date.”
Classy.
@wow- agreed. I know wedding planning is stressful, but it’s pretty spiteful to wish evil on someone on what even you say should be one of the happiest days of your life. You say you’re elated to be engaged to the person you love. If so, you can afford to be magnanimous. Frankly, it wasn’t “your” day to give.
The simple fact is, Jennifer chose the date and let people know before you did. When she paid the deposit is irrelevant. Sure, it took a few phone calls from you to reorganize, but that’s pretty minimal effort.
You’re going to have to compromise a lot during both the wedding planning and marriage, and if this one little thing turns you into such a vindictive person, perhaps you should just elope.
I dont read this as spiteful, I just see this a Nikole’s sense of humor based on her previour posts.
I agree, not spiteful. Being a bride is stressful and it only feels easy after we’ve been through it. Although, I DID say no to several people who asked to bring guests who were not invited and who I did not know to the wedding. As well as kids! Stay strong and stick with your opinions!
I have to say I ahve enjoyed reading your blog. If there is anything I can do to help out please don’t hesitate to ask. I am so happy for you guys. Congrats!!!!!
Yeah, I’m still going to suggest that the blogger pick up Miss Manners’ Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and reconsider her entitled attitude.
I am in the middle of planning a wedding and understand your experience! I do not think that this is unclassy at all. You will hear hundreds of different opinions throughout this process, however, the only opinions that matter is yours and your fiancees. I will follow your blog as you navigate through this process. Congrats!
No. A wedding is an event for the entire family, not just “your day” where only your own opinion matters. Unless you want to alienate your family and friends, it’s an attitude that’s best left behind at the age of 5.
@Wow…I disagree. Everyone has an opinion about what a couple should or should not do during the course of the planning.”Don’t do this, don’t do that. Get these flowers, have the wedding here, get this dress, serve this food, etc…”. While a wedding is a family event, in the end, unless the families are going to fork over the money to finance all of the things that they are so opinionated on; the opinions that matter most are the bride and grooms.
I have to say that I agree 100% with Wow. This blog posting is a horrible example of a selfish, entitled, “It’s My BIG DAY” kind of attitude. I normally really enjoy the blog postings on PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com so this is a major disappointment. Why do you want a bride like this representing you?
I fail to understand, why any of you would criticise this blog, obviously some people fail to see the use of humor to deal with a stressful time in any bride planning. I is intresting that all that chose to criticese and call the bride selfish and childish, are unable or unwilling to to use a real name. Maybe Wow, Umm and Giddified should take a good look in the mirror to see who is really meanspirited and childish.
BTW, Nikole, I love your totally delightful posts. You make me laugh out loud when I read your comments
I am sending good thought and wishes as you continue to navigate the wedding process.
Please keep up the good work and I will continue to read your comments regularly.
I agree. I don’t think she is REALLY going to pray for rain on this girl (or any girl’s wedding day). I think she is making a joke about the whole thing. She’s happy with her new wedding date and is off planning.
Isn’t rain supposed to be good luck anyhow? So Nikole is in some ways giving Jennifer the best wish of all! And she’ll be married first– one more week of married bliss!
Amanda, how exactly does leaving a generic name with no contact information any less anonymous?