Image source: Green Wedding Shoes (first row), Donna Von Bruening Photography

The shoe shot has become so deeply entrenched in the wedding photography shot list that I sometimes feel – as a wedding planner – that I should include “fancy and/or funky shoes” as a line item in a bride’s wedding budget.  It seems to be a place where a lot of brides splurge – even in the face of many other expenses, shoes remain quite important to women.

That said, your foot fantasies and wedding shoe shots should not suffer because you can’t swing Louboutins or Blahniks in your wedding budget.  So how about adding custom embellishments to a pair of affordable shoes to give them that “something special” for which designers (often deservedly) charge the big, budget-busting, bucks?

Great idea, and probably something that you could do yourself if you have the artistic flair!  If you don’t, consider contacting an artisan and purveyor of homemade goods to create something for you!  The following examples are by etsy vendor  Oh My Deer.  All of her pieces are custom and made-to-order – don’t you deserve to be truly original on your wedding day, designer budget or not?

This “The Look for Less ” was written by Ainsley Crowell, wedding planner at Tricia Huddas & Co, in Savannah, Georgia.

So maybe you really don’t need another toaster. And that fancy espresso maker really isn’t your style. Whether you are an older couple with an established home or you are just striving to live a simpler lifestyle, the age-old tradition of registering for household and other gifts may feel outdated to you. One of the newest trends among couples today is asking friends and family to join you in going green by donating money to charity in lieu of a wedding gift.  While this is no doubt admirable, it does come with some concerns. Not registering for gifts could confuse some guests, and at worst offend others.  Here are some simple tips for the dos and don’ts of registering for or requesting charitable gifts.

The Invitation: It’s considered poor etiquette to directly tell a guest what you want, especially on an invitation where we don’t mention gifts at all. Doing so insinuates that you are expecting a gift, which is impolite, even though we know that guests are expected to send a gift when they are invited and attend a wedding. So even though asking for donations is an altruistic goal, never make this request directly on your invitation.

Careful wording: Do not directly say “no gifts, please” because many guests will want to give you gifts and will not appreciate being told not to do so. Carefully phrase your words so as not to offend. Consider the following examples: “Your presence is the only gift we request.” “In lieu of gifts, we ask that you donate to a charity in our name.” Use these phrases or make up your own to let guests know your wishes without sounding like guests are forbidden from giving a material or monetary gift if they please.

Wedding websites: Consider setting up a wedding website where you could list information about your charity and suggest that donations to charity are preferred. Wedding websites serve many purposes. They can help cut down on the paper trail, plus they are a fun and creative way to share a bit about who you are as a couple. At the I Do Foundation, couples can design a free wedding website and make secure online giving easy for your guests. Create a registry for charitable giving by choosing specific organizations or causes that you and your fiance support.

Word of mouth: Guests who are interested in giving a present will seek out information related to registries or desired gifts. Tell your inner circle how you feel. Spreading the word to close friends, family and the bridal party can go a long way. The people who know you best will feel comfortable sharing your wishes.

Eco-friendly registry: Another good option may be creating a registry for items you know you will need (even great toasters have a life expectancy, right?) at  a retailer who gives back.  To help couples achieve environmentally and socially conscious gift-giving, the Center for a New American Dream created the free Alternative Gift Registry, which allows people to request homemade, secondhand or other gifts, including charitable donations and gifts of time. Branchhome and Gaiam offer online registries and provide practical, well made, and eco-friendly homewares.

Saying thanks: Most importantly, remember that all presents deserve thank-you cards. If guests give charitable donations in your name, you should always acknowledge their gift with a note of thanks.

Sources: TopWeddingQuestions.com; WashingtonPost.com; GreenLivingIdeas.com

Arsy is the second bride I’ve seen recently who proves how cool purple can be as an accent color.  It feels so modern and so fun at the same time.  Purple lovers rejoice!

Arsy & Brooke | August 1, 2009, The Pasadena Museum of California Art: Pasadena, California

How he proposed
On a secluded beach overlooking Bodega Bay.

The ceremony
We got married on the terrace of the museum.

The reception
We held it on the rooftop of the PMCA.  Dinner was at Sunset on the terrace and Dancing was in the art gallery. Perfect weather!

The moment Arsy will never forget
Taking a moment with my husband while all the guests were having dinner, to look at the sunset over city hall and feel like we were the only 2 people on the rooftop.

The wedding theme
The theme was very subtle. But, we decided to bring a Desert feel to our wedding.  All of our favors were different little succulents. We also had larger succulents on the cocktail tables and gift tables, etc. and incorporated them into our center pieces (Which were actually purple, to add a pop of color).

The bridesmaids, who picked their own dressesall wore champagne. We loved how all the different shades of champagne looked together.  Also, the bridesmaids themselves looked beautiful … every bridesmaid choose a dress that represented herself so well … it fit their personalities and their bodies! They were all so confident and felt as beautiful as I did that day! Which I think made everyone have way more fun!

What made her wedding dress “the one”
Our wedding was a traditional wedding with a modern feel … My dress felt just like that! It was poofy enough to make me feel like a bride, not a princess. But, yet modern and fun!  I tried on around 20 dresses before I found this one.

Her advice for other brides
1) The wedding and the dress should be an extension of who and your future hubby are.
2) Make sure to take a moment at some point during the day … just for the 2 of you!

Arsy’s Wedding Dress: Priscilla of Boston Maeve

Photography: Krissy Davis

Hi folks!

Well, premarital counseling last week was great. You know it’s good when the guy doing your counseling says, “This is not an approval process” and then goes on to tell horror stories of couples he’s known who have been advised not to marry for ridiculous reasons. Seriously–he once did a last-minute wedding gig because the pastor had dropped out a week before the wedding, refusing to marry the couple because the man getting married said that he hadn’t been attracted to his fiancee at first sight. Weird!

So Jarrod and I had a big sigh of relief. We’re gettin’ married! Bob (our pastor for the wedding and our premarital counselor) has already shown himself to be really good at analyzing the ins and outs of our relationship. It’s really funny, too. One of the things he had each of us do was to write down (without peeking at the other’s paper) the reasons we’re getting married. My reason was, “Because I love Jarrod! And he loves me! And we want to spend the rest of our lives together!”, while Jarrod gave a very logical response–I’ll make a great companion, our goals match, etc. This, in a few words, summarizes the main difference between Jarrod and me: Jarrod is very logical and rational, while I’m all about emotion.

Anyway, so wedding stuff. I’ve been avoiding dealing with the bridesmaid dress situation, but I really need to get this taken care of, seeing as the wedding is in 123 days! Um, I have this procrastination problem…Really all I need to do is go and spend some time at a fabric store, which I’m planning on doing after my root canal on Thursday (woop woop), since I’m taking work off early.

Jarrod’s mom and Kristen, one of my bridesmaids, have been browsing around JoAnn fabrics for pattern and fabric ideas. The biggest problem I’m having with my strategy to make the girls’ dresses is that dresses that can be made in cotton fabric are hard to come across. Well, not too hard I guess, but a lot of patterns recommend more flowy, organza or chiffon-like fabrics.

Which kind of defeats the whole purpose of having these made, right? I mean, I can send my girls to David’s Bridal to pick out any lavender dress of their choice. Well, we’ll see what I find at JoAnns on Thursday.

And then there’s the registry. Jarrod…well, he discovered Ikea, which I think is Swedish for “Cheap and awesome household goodness”. That’s a rough translation, of course. So now he’s wanting to revamp the entire registry, which will take time, patience, and caffeine. We were going to do it on Saturday, but now we’re going skiing instead! Silly mountains. We’ll find a time though.

I mean, we could have done it this weekend, but I didn’t want to bring it up, because I saw how distressed he got the last time we tried to register. So instead we spent the evening watching 2001: A Space Odyssey (okay, weird movie.), and then on Monday he called me and said, “Okay Em. We need to change our registry.” And I said, “Yeah…we really do.”

And then there’s the honeymoon–don’t even get me started! This is what we know for sure. We know that we have transportation to Greece and a hotel room once we get to Santorini. And we know that we will spend the rest of June backpacking around Europe. This is all we know.

I just need to calm down. Things will work themselves out, this much I am sure of. One step at a time!

(PS–The picture at the top of the page is the dress that my sister has chosen. Isn’t it wonderful? It’s so Becca! I might have to make one for myself while I’m at it.)